I’m an impatient person who is getting lots of lessons in patience lately. My life seems like a film shoot: wait, wait—a flurry of activity—and then more waiting.

I just got the results from the biopsy of the mass in my right breast. Now I officially have breast cancer. Not that there was much doubt after the biopsy of the lymph nodes in November, but, as one doctor said, “It’s always a little disappointing when it comes true.” I’ve chosen a surgeon in Denver and an oncologist in Boulder, from different groups. I sometimes ask myself, “Beth, why can’t you do things the easy way? Pick one group or another?” But I didn’t. I picked the doctors who talked to me in a way I could understand. And I picked the surgeon, especially, because she was the only one of three who mentioned that she tries to minimize the trauma under the arm, where the lymph nodes are removed.

But now the holidays have come down like a pack of Dementors, and it’s cold and everyone is trying to get away. (Can you tell I’ve been watching Harry Potter movies?)

I knew I should have taken that 700-page editing job! Then I would have something to keep me busy, something other than looking for a place to live, editing the thousands of photos I took in the last 6 months during 12 Cities, 1 Year, or starting a photography business.

The truth is, the only thing I want to be busy at right now is treatment. But it’s not happening yet.

Cancer has made me into a patient, but it will never make me patient.

Sentences like that one make people hate to learn English.

Leave A Comment

  1. elisabeth December 21, 2011 at 11:39 am - Reply

    Thanks for your candor and wit, Beth! I will keep you and your health in my thoughts and prayers. Patience is a challenge for me and I can only imagine how much more so for cancer patients (more of an auditory linguistic puzzle).

  2. Beth Partin December 21, 2011 at 2:16 pm - Reply

    Patience for patients…that’s a good one. Thanks for commenting!

  3. Aprylisa December 22, 2011 at 1:28 pm - Reply

    I applaud you in making choices that feel good to you. In choosing practitioner people who show you care and compassion. I hope you remember to stay open to this passing easily away and your healthy cells dancing a happy boogie to rebuild your body with a bounty of energy and joy. Love and Light, Aprylisa

  4. Beth Partin December 22, 2011 at 4:52 pm - Reply

    I like that image, Aprylisa.

  5. Deborah J. Byrne December 24, 2011 at 11:14 am - Reply

    Beth, So sorry to hear about your cancer. Sending healing energy. Where are you living now? I live in an apartment in LoDo, near the Tattered Cover. Love walking the Platte River Trail every day that I can. Have the happiest holidays that you can.

  6. Beth Partin December 24, 2011 at 12:11 pm - Reply

    Thanks, Deborah. We’re staying in a friend’s basement right now and looking at apartments. We’re hoping to get one in central Denver.

  7. Tracie December 28, 2011 at 9:15 pm - Reply

    Beth..I have been away for some time so I apologize this is my first response. I have no doubt you are going to kick this cancer into the ground. And using your knowledge of words and story telling is brilliant!

  8. Beth Partin December 29, 2011 at 9:54 am - Reply

    Thanks, Tracie. I’m glad to hear from you again.

  9. saint facetious December 29, 2011 at 2:23 pm - Reply

    This was not a post I enjoyed! Except for the last couple of lines. I never know what to say to things like this. Keep your head up, tiger?

  10. Beth Partin December 29, 2011 at 5:23 pm - Reply

    Thanks, Saint, that made me laugh. And I never know what to say either.